and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
