At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
