i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She needs sedatives and a leash
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
