You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
