I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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