You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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