He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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