Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
