you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
