My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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