dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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