My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
