Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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