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Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have already put on my inside pants.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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