I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
FUCK WHALES
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
