Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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