well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
