he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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