i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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