It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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