Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
