I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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