its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
