I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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