My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
