you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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