actually, I'm a sock model
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
