True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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