We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
