He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
