How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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