i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
