people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
