So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
