I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have feelings that need drinking.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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