I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
