me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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