Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
