im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Terrible idea I love it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
