Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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