dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
