I wish I could punch you in the face.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
