My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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