would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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