I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
