This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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