We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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