After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
