i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she looked like the before picture.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
