Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
