their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to stick my p in your. b.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
