Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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